Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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