He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize