Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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