Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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