Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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