we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
