She's JV to your varsity
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
