I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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