Need sex. Gaining weight.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The ass gains better be worth it
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