There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
