She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
