Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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