I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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