oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
