it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
