then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
