I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize