Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
