I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
