oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
