He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
God, I missed his penis.
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