I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
