I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
