Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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