i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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