drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
