I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
