Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
