We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
