It's Friday. Sex?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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