My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
your room smells of hookers.
And success
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
