did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
