i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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