Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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