were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
