well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And then my night got REAL pukey
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
