So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize