pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
