im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
