i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
