when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
