their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
