I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
