We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
