I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
