Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
