You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
