he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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