I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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