Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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