There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
