I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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