i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Randomize
