The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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