Me. At least after what I've been through.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
