I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
