I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
