Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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