I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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