Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
