...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
