I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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