I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
