chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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