If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize