My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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