2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm bleeding and have questions
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