i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
