I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's blow job season.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
