non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
